John and I got married roughly six months after we were introduced. We are a very isolated case. By 'when we were introduced', I don't mean to say we went on a blind date or went to dinner with a bunch of friends shook hands, exchanged numbers halfway through and so on and so forth. We met online, were introduced online and built our relationship on nothing but trust and relied on the internet and the Yahoo Messenger 85% of the time. The other 15% was spent talking on Voice Internet Protocol otherwise known as Vonage. Yeah, I was the cool kid in the neighborhood with the US number in a totally different country. lol
We celebrate our wedding anniversary which is on July 19th but we don't see this as special as the day I actually took the leap and answered his first email [to me back] in January 2005. His email sat in my inbox unread for two days, then after I read it, it sat in there a little bit longer. I didn't know what to think or say or do. I was too scared to even look at what he wrote how much more, finding out what this person looked like in person. When I finally got the courage to write back, I hid. I would speak to him on the messenger but will not show my face on the webcam until I was sure he had one too to make it all fair. I was scared!!!
Five years later, his face still scares me. LOL Just kidding! My husband is pretty fly for a white guy. ;) He is my version of Vince Vaughn, he has been mistaken to be John Stamos before.
We have only been married for five very beautiful years but we feel like we have been married longer than that. Whenever you spend your first year of marriage thousands of miles away, with just the phone and the messenger, you get to work out things like no other because:
1) I am a lazy email writer. I always felt stupid every time I wrote an argument letter. I felt like I was arguing with myself, by the time he gets it anyway, I would've already gotten over what I was upset about. So no point spending all that time writing an email.
2) I have learned that in relationships, there is really no point getting too mad because you end up making up and MAKING OUT anyway. So yeah I didn't wanna waste my time doing all that I knew John and I were going to work out one way or another.
3) The first time I saw that pretty face of his, I knew right then he was the one. I saw an air of humility in his eyes and I knew that he was just crazy about me and will do anything like eat dirt if it made me feel better. He worships the ground I walk on. And what girl in their right mind doesn't want that?
John and I go through the up and down cycle but the longer we are together, we have less and less arguments instead we have more understanding of and for each other. I am thankful that I spent the last five years just being his wife, no more no less. We got to know each other well and we were able to iron stuff out before they got out of control. I chose not to work, we chose not to have children just yet, WE CHOSE TO BE HUSBAND AND WIFE first and I think that was one of the best decisions him and I have made in the span of time that we have been together.
I am a strong believer in family but I also believe that jumping into having kids right after your wedding is like committing suicide. I believe couples need time to be husband and wife first and foremost, iron out their differences and find out if they can live with each other first before deciding to put an additional human being into the mix. It was complicated enough when John and I started living together how much more if I had another earthling crying for me hour after hour. So yes, I am sooo glad we eased into all of this.
So guess what, five years later, John and I are stronger than we've ever been. We do lots of things together, and lots of things by ourselves or with friends and we have a really good balance going on. My only prayers is that we never tire of each other and we always and never look elsewhere but look to the Giver of all this and He be glorified through us most of all.